Thursday, 30 December 2010
no one ever appreciates what i've sacrificed for them .
no one understands me and never try to get to know me better .
i've had enough with everything . really .
and this , has reached my limits .
ibu , eu never try to ask if im okay or not . eu dont seem to care even just abit . i hide my problems from eu because i know eu will never understand me . before i would even speak up , eu would always scold me first . eu never understand me .
baby , ur not even afraid to lose me . coz that's what eu told me . i can never forget that line . eu confidently said to me when we were otp , " im not afraid to lose eu coz i have been single for a long time . "
when eu said that , it made me feel that im not worth ur time all this while . and eu make me feel that i wont mean a thing to eu even if we ever break up . sometimes eu never think before eu speak . i tau kadang eu buat bende its either just to get back at me atau pon eu nak i learn a lesson . but it dont matter . yang paling penting , eu tak takut kehilangan i . why cant eu see that i need eu so fucking much ? ='(
Labels: understand me please .
Let me shine Thursday, December 30, 2010.
Monday, 27 December 2010
yes , he've met my family . and yes , eu've met her's .
tell me why i still can't accept the fact ..
and im confident that eu feel the same way too .
is it that im still not over eu even just abit ? or is it that i really miss eu ?
i love khai so much . i really do .
and i know eu love seri too .
but hey , i really have to admit .
i really do miss eu .
im not sure if eu feel the same way about me .
i just miss the old times . thats all .
Labels: its complications in between
Let me shine Monday, December 27, 2010.
Sunday, 19 December 2010
planned to buy eu friendship band for our first month anniversary .
but i feared that eu wouldnt like it , so i didnt get it first .
finally now that i got it for eu . in fact , both of us had a pair of identical frienship band . <3
dont have the picture , but its okay .
i just really love it . the mixture of colour which i picked for the both of us .
oh baby , i feel so happy right now . i can't possibly espress it all out at Facebook coz there wont be much space to write .
i just hope your reading this . i really do . coz i love eu so so much .
ouh yes i do . i never lie about this . i hope that ur the last one im sticking with and no one after eu .
i love eu baby .
i love eu mot .
<3
Labels: words that cant express how you made me smile
Let me shine Sunday, December 19, 2010.
Friday, 17 December 2010
i don't know how else i have to hold on to this .
i don't even want to let go of this special thing we have .
im not sure if it's love because im too young to know about it but i won't ever let it go coz it means so much to me .
baby , i'd do whatever it takes just to stay with eu . be in an open relationship first ? whatever . i dont care . i just want to be yours . im not sure what it means or what it feels like to be in an open relationship but i just dont like the way eu define the meaning .
baby , i need eu . i really do . and im begging eu . please .
dont ever let me go , no matter what happens .
please baby . im begging eu . i know i like to sulk . but i do that just to get your attention . i just want to be spoiled by eu .
i dont know where eu are now . ur not home yet . your number is busy . i can't seem to find a way to contact eu . please . i need eu .
Labels: forgive me for this that you had to go through
Let me shine Friday, December 17, 2010.
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
hey baby . this is for eu .
im not going to stop eu from getting ur friendship with ur friends stronger again . im not going to do that . please , go ahead . i dont want to ever be the cause of eu breaking up ur friendship with ur friends .
just one thing that i seek from eu .
please , im begging eu .
dont change .
what i've gone through with ashraf is enough . i dont ever wanna go through it again . it really hurts . i tanak care eu bbl ngan i aleh aleh tuka . no ..
please jangan pernah berubah . i dont want to go through it second time round .
promise me , eu'll never ever ever change while in the process of bringing up ur friendship with ur friends .
promise me that eu'll never change the way we talk .
promise me .
Labels: promise me this
Let me shine Tuesday, December 14, 2010.
aku tak tau uh ape salah aku buat kat kau skrang .
seriously . i yang slalu bukak topic bile otp . im tired of doing that . really . since what i feared that eu might say what i dont want eu to say came true , might as well , i control myself by not meeting eu every single day .
im trying my fucking best not to pick a fight with eu . and there eu are opening up a conversation that's just trying to pick up a fight with me indirectly by using what , large words that probably i wouldnt understand .
bile kite argue , i seriously tak boleh tahan eu punye kurangajar .
just the way eu takleyh tahan ngan i punye merajuk . but right now , im already trying my best not to argue back . but ur not trying to change at all .
Let me shine Tuesday, December 14, 2010.
Friday, 10 December 2010
we first got to know each other on February 15, 2009 at 7:53pm .
his name is Daniel .
its coming to 1 year 10 months this 15th since we've known each other .
we only got even closer this year compared to last year .
About Daniel:
- he's a total jerk . :D
- he eats alot !
- he likes to look at pretty girls .
- he's standard colours are black,white,grey .
- he's funny .
- he's very outgoing .
- he's always there if you need him . literally .
- he loves my hips . :DD
- he likes to tickle people .
- he doesnt like it if you make him wait for an hour plus . ( my mistake )
- he smokes
- he's willing to get me what i want . :D
- his hugs comforts you best especially if you're really down .
there's more about him that i can elaborate more . but i'll end it this way .
i love Daniel so much . i love our friendship so so much . i really treasure it coz he's always there for me . it was my mistake to make him mad once . but i've learnt from that mistake . am so not going to do it again .
Daniel , im really greatful that you're my friend . im really glad we're friends .
im cherishing our friendship coz its so damn precious .
thank you so much for getting me the blouse i wanted for my present .
thank you so much Daniel . our friendship means alot to me . really .
i'll never do anything to make you angry at me again . i promise .
i love you so much . :D
Labels: til the end of time
Let me shine Friday, December 10, 2010.
Thursday, 9 December 2010
we always fight for small reasons .
i dont mean to doubt eu . but i just need eu to finish up ur sentence properly .
im sorry baby . i really am .
right now , i just want to tell the whole world how much eu mean to me .
i dont know why but i really really reeeaaaally love eu .
i can feel that eu love me so much too . and i hope it wont ever fade away .
kay , i seriously just love eu so much .
Labels: don't ever fade away
Let me shine Thursday, December 09, 2010.
Wednesday, 8 December 2010
baby , i tau eu tak suke gaduh ngan i . i tau kite tak sepatutnye gaduh over small things . eu fikir i nak ke gaduh ngan eu ? no kay .
first thing first i tak suke gaduh ngan eu pasal i tak suke care eu bbl ngan i . its seriously kurangajar . really . eu use words that i dont even know what it means . kay , im a naive person . im kental when it comes to using words to be kurangajar . we come from different backgrounds . im not trying to say that ur family is a not good company . but its just that we come from different backgrounds . but that doesnt mean eu have to speak that way to me what .
i hate it when kite gaduh , pastu eu senyap . really . and eu dont even try to pujok me even if sometimes its my fault . after we fight , i would definitely come back to eu and apologize what . but it doesnt have to be always me that apologizes what . tak make sense langsung uh . i tau most of the time i yang carik pasal dgan eu and i tau most of the time eu give in kat i .
i know kay , i know .
i know im selfish . i know im self-centered . i know eu want to achieve that goal so badly . i know eu've set those goals even before eu were officially attached . but its abit different now . ur attached . ur no longer single . there's an extra burden for eu to carry . and that's me . im just worried that after eu've achieved ur goal , eu'll neglect me . girlfriend mane sia yang nak di-neglect .. i wouldnt want to be unfaithful to eu coz that's no way to solve our matter . its not that im not being supportive at all . im sorry if eu did expect me to be the supportive girlfriend but first thing that came to my mind was , will i be neglected ? that's just it . im sorry kay .
baby , im really sorry . let's stop this fight . i just wanna come back into ur arms and i just wanna cuddle up with eu again like we always do .
Labels: left unsaid but longed to be spoken
Let me shine Wednesday, December 08, 2010.
i swear i need more time with
my daddy .
my daddy .
Labels: thousand apologies that weren't enough
Let me shine Wednesday, December 08, 2010.
Monday, 6 December 2010
it was my birthday yesterday . heh .
worked from 7 30am til 2pm coz im going out with mot .
i was sad to leave work coz i'll miss my workfriends and there was still alot of boxes to be brought out to the canteen . i had to leave if not i dont have time for myself and mot .
waited for the bus like waited for pigs to fly . cheyh mcm faham uh .
the bus was damn late , that one okay . when i got home , i found out that my sis wore my black dress . at that time , she was sleeping . i just felt like punching her damn face . called my baby up and complain to him . =(
dah siap , terus kluar jumpe baby . then khalil was there . i was really nervous . i saw my baby with him at the bustop .
baby , i swear you looked hot . heh .
we went to Cineleisure cineplex at Somerset . i watch Rapaunzel 3D . wooh !
romance/comedy gerek gile .
we wanted to take pictures of ourselves . we asked some outsiders to help us . but it didnt really turned out nice . so i had to delete it .
then mom called . family made reservations Mad Jack . i didnt had enough time with baby so i invited him to eat dinner with my family . he was really scared at first . but it turn out right in the end . i think my mom likes him .
he's the First guy to ever meet my family .
there's pictures to proof . here they are .
tadaaaa ! heh .
after dinner , its time to go home . dad sent my aunt's family first .
baby went to the bustop to wait for bus like duh .
my mom , sis and me had to wait for my dad at the bustop too since my dad sent my aunt home . my mom asked so many questions .
my mom sent baby to the bustop near tampines jc . we didnt get to kiss goodbye . =(
but its okay . at least i had a great time with you baby .
i havent had a blast like this for the past 2 years . usually its always spent at malaysia . and i dont like it . im born in singapore , why must i celebrate it at malaysia . sheesh .
its okay . i really did had a great time . especially when baby decided to join me for dinner with my family .
now this is what i call , i had a great 15th birthday with my LOVE ones .
Labels: the best
Let me shine Monday, December 06, 2010.
Friday, 3 December 2010
Finally , its over .
i just can't believe that im no longer with you , aby .
i do miss you . but not as much as how i used to . i just pity your girlfriend coz she's gonna have to go through the same i went through .
Yeah whatever . its never about you anyway .
So basically , i've moved on .
More into guys with geek specs . heh .
then i met this guy with geek specs . he's very kental . oh well , i fell in love with his kentalness anyway . heh .
He loves the colour Red and Purple .
He's a part-time skater and a FULL-TIME climber .
We got together on the November 5th 2010 .
I don't know why i don't get tired of meeting him every single day but i don't care coz a day without being with him physically feels so different .
He means alot to me and im not gonna do anything that would make me lose him . i feel his love too .
Most of our conversations has those three words in it . and i mean MOST .
never fails to tell me that he loves me every time we hang up .
i just hope that wont ever stop .
iloveyoumot.
Labels: never felt this way before
Let me shine Friday, December 03, 2010.
